Of all the strange questions we've been asked in what's been a long life, this was perhaps the weirdest.

"Have you tried online dating yet?'' an acquaintance inquired.

We were almost too stunned to reply at first. Online dating? Online dating!

"No,'' we finally replied somewhat flabbergasted, as Rex Mossop used to say. "Definitely not.''

We thought, or at least hoped, that would be the end of the conversation. But no, the inquisition continued.

"You should. You really should. I've just started and it's great. Give it a try,'' he persisted.

This was the prelude to an interminable and increasingly bizarre ramble about some lass he was communicating with in Queensland or Zimbabwe or Mt George, or somewhere (we were way past having any interest by this stage). When he finally concluded, we tried to introduce some common sense into the conversation.

We've retired from any dating, we patiently explained, whether it be online or anywhere else. As a veteran of numerous failed relationships including a couple of marriages, we shan't be wandering down that path again.

This is not to say we have anything against marriage per se. Why, we've always maintained that marriage is the most magical and exciting three weeks of your life. Unfortunately, after that things tend to go a bit pear-shaped.

Not only that but it's also no great secret that this correspondent isn't particularly computer literate. In truth, we're computer illiterate, if such a term exists. Just switching on a computer at the start of work here each day is taxing enough. We'd hate to think how we'd fare if we were trying to conduct some type of relationship via the internet. We seem to be often harking back to the more innocent days of the 1980s in this space.

Back then there was no such thing as online dating. In fact, there wasn't much anything online. Usually, or at least in this correspondent's experience, dating started, continued and usually came to an end in a hotel. When searching for a possible partner, we'd always try to find a lass with similar interests to this correspondent - watching footy and drinking beer, although not necessarily in that order. But the 1980s has long passed into ancient history. Now we're more than happy to stagger into our dotage on our lonesome.

We certainly won't be searching the internet any time soon for a potential hook-up. Meanwhile, we saw the aforementioned acquaintance earlier this week and asked how his online love life is faring. His response was less-than-enthusiastic.

"It's a nightmare,'' he frowned.

Maybe he should try his luck at the pub. Just like the good old days.

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