I have a brother who has cerebral palsy. He is a common fixture around town, you might have seen him on the park bench next to the bridge, or having a chat to business owners in the main street, or maybe making friends on a Friday or Saturday night.
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Usually the fact that he has a physical disability is not how I begin any conversation, to me he is just Nige - my older brother who is annoying in older brother ways, and supportive in the way only a sibling can be.
Over the weekend I saw something which I choose not to ignore, I mean I could just sweep it under the carpet and walk away but I won't because I believe that we have to stand up for kindness. We have to stand up for equality.
As it happens, pubs fill up on Cowra's night of wine, and the mood is festive and great.
I was with a group of ten or so friends, and my brother, and we were all dancing - probably badly - with a whole lot of other dancing people when something happened which clouded my usually sunny disposition.
A woman turned around on the dance floor only to see Nigel; the look of disgust on her face as she lurched backwards broke my heart. FYI a disability is not a disease, you can't catch it.
She then made a buffer between herself and my brother who was minding his own business, dancing with our friends.
Everybody has rough days, and nobody deserves to be in a place where they feel there is no one in the world that cares.
The contempt she held for a boy who makes so many laugh without even taking a moment to know him was incredible.
I hope that no one ever looks at that woman or someone she loves like that; it was absolutely crushing, no one should have to experience it.
In her case a smile was too hard to produce.
In Australia the leading cause of death for people under 44 is suicide, the National Suicide Prevention Conference is happening in Tasmania as I type this, discussing how best to reduce this staggering statistic.
I would like to suggest everyone smile at a stranger, be kind to one another and don't judge people superficially. Yes, suicide often goes hand in hand with mental health issues, but do you remember the last time someone did something nice out of the blue and without expectations?
It might have been that text message that made you smile all day, that time your colleague put something on your desk when you were having a rough day or that genuine "Hi, how are you?" that made you realise someone in the world cares.
Maybe that smile was enough to stop someone from entering a spiral of depression. Maybe it was enough to help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Everybody has rough days, and nobody deserves to be in a place where they feel there is no one in the world that cares.
I'm not going to judge the woman who was so repulsed by my brother. She could be kind, and compassionate, and I may have caught her at a low point, but what I can say is facial expressions and body language count, and can affect the way people feel.
So be positive, smile; it might just save a life.
belinda.cleary@fairfaxmedia.com.au
