These are the words Michael Maguire has been known to tell members of his coaching staff from time to time.

He doesn't want to technicolour yawn in a Mad Monday sense, but in the gym or on the training paddock, pushing his 40-year-old body to its limits.

It's his way of earning respect and admiration from his players. As anyone at Redfern will tell you, the coach still seems fit enough to play, even if parts of his body won't allow it.

His mentor at Melbourne, Craig Bellamy, has employed the same motivational tactic over the years. So, too, Des Hasler, and even Wayne Bennett, who walked into the Dragons' gym on his first day and bench-pressed more weight than his lanky body should permit.

Where Maguire sets himself apart, though, are the wrestling sessions.

Maguire is fascinated with wrestling. He's a student of wrestling.

So much so that he does it alongside his players, teaching them the so-called dark art that is again raising the ire of past and present players, rival coaches, fans and, not least, the match review committee.

In the past fortnight, Souths have taken a grip on the premiership with wins over Manly and Brisbane, but it's their chicken wings and crusher tackles that are starting to dominate discussion.

There can be no mistake: the Rabbitohs are going to wrestle their way to their first premiership since 1971 – or wrestle their way out of it.

In the space of two matches, five Souths players have been charged for illegal wrestling moves.

Two of them, George Burgess (two matches) and Ben Te'o (four matches), have been rubbed out for chicken wings.

The other three – Issac Luke, Chris McQueen and Kirisome Auva'a – escaped suspension with early guilty pleas. The charges slapped on McQueen and Auva'a for crushers were harsh, yet all three will now take carry-over points into the pointy end of the season.

The Te'o tackle on Broncos forward Sam Thaiday turned the stomach.

It was not an accident. It was not the result of an entanglement of limbs between defender and attacker. It was the result of the modern-day obsession to slow down the play-the-ball, with a third man coming into the tackle with everyone trying to turn the player on to his back so he looks like an upturned turtle.

Yes, I know, Rabbitohs fans, you're not alone. Other teams do it.

And if my side hadn't won the grand final in 43 years I wouldn't care if they pulled out the Cobra Clutch or a Straitjacket Crossface in every tackle if it ensured a lap of honour come October.

It's just that Souths push the limit better than anyone else. Just like Melbourne did it better than anyone else when they won their grand finals. Just like the Manly sides that won theirs. Just like the Roosters last year.

We've been writing about the infiltration of wrestling coaches and "holds" on an attacking player's "levers" for years. We've been writing for just as long about referee and judiciary clampdowns, not least on the chicken wing, and how the NRL will come down hard on wrestling blah de blah blah blah.

Yet the NRL needs to sniff the breeze and realise the damage being done to its product.

Andrew Johns – an Immortal, and arguably the best attacking player to lace on a boot – said at the weekend he feels blessed he never played in the present era because he didn't have to spend time at training learning to wrestle like "Rowdy" Roddy Piper instead of refining his superb skills with the actual football.

Current players are loath to comment on the issue publicly, but they privately share the frustration.

They report they often feel like they're in a "coffin" in tackles, such is the pressure being applied. We won't suggest players would ever leave the NRL because they are tired of the practice, but we're told it has been a factor for some.

Then there's the disenfranchised supporter, who has had enough of homogenised, predictable footy that looks like it's all come off the same production line.

Bennett suggested Souths were predictable earlier this month. They're all predictable.

While Souths are in the spotlight for their defence, at least they offer some spark in attack.

I'd rather watch the likes of Sam Burgess, Te'o and Luke punching away at the defensive line before allowing the likes of Adam Reynolds and Luke Keary to find space for Greg Inglis than some of the mind-numbing play from the Bulldogs of late.

The NRL is loaded with players with mind-boggling skill. Hayne Plane. Milford. Thurston. Slater. Sowie. (Yes, Sowie). A number of wingers who enjoy contorting themselves to get the ball down in the corner ...

Yet the most entertaining team to watch right now does not play in the NRL but the Queensland Cup.

They are not from Australia but Papua New Guinea. They are the Hunters. They were formed this season. They don't play for much money.

Before this season, few of them wore shoes.

They may or may not qualify for the playoffs, but their spectacular, daring brand of footy has given them a cult following north of the border.

Of all their excitement machines, it's winger Garry Lo who has lit up the competition.

He's as wide as he is high, straight out of the same mould as former Dogs winger Matt Utai, and is the leading try scorer with two rounds to play.

Go and YouTube him now. You won't spew. You'll be reminded of how footy is supposed to be played.

 

ASADA TRYING TO SPOOK PLAYERS INTO TAKING DEAL

Let's get this straight.

February 7 last year was the blackest day in Australian sport. Don't underestimate what we know and all that. We'll catch you. Come forward.

Then, after 18 months of "investigation", ASADA tells Sharks players they can receive a get-out-of-jail-free card if they take a backdated one-year deal.

But they have to tell them by 9.30am on Friday, and admit to being a drug cheat in the process.

Question: ARE YOU FOR REAL ASADA? Seriously?

Isn't the anti-doping authority supposed to catch drug cheats? Instead, it is trying to spook Sharks players into taking a deal that will see them rubbed out for three matches, fulfilling the promise of ASADA boss Ben McDevitt to have the investigation wrapped up as soon as possible.

The former Labor federal government has much to answer for. So where is former sports minister Kate Lundy?

Running away, that's where.

"Senator Lundy will not be making any public statement as it is not appropriate to comment on matters before the court," a spokesperson told Channel Nine on Wednesday.

Before the court? Good to see she's been following the story closely.

HAYSON IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

Reports that brothel owner Eddie Hayson is on the brink of bankruptcy under the weight of $52 million in debts hardly surprise those of us who have been hearing about his legendary betting habits for years.

He particularly loved rugby league, having dropped $500,000 on Queensland in the opening match of the series in 2008 when NSW sprung a shock win.

As Hayson once said: "I put $1 million on a State of Origin game once, that's probably the biggest. Am I addicted? Well, it has been a problem over the years."

Is gambling a problem for you? Call 1800 858 858.

SMITH A TRUE BANKER

Last week's item about NRL boss Dave Smith losing the faith of some key figures in the game received a varied response.

The criticism that Smith is running the game like a bank struck a chord with one reader.

"I had to chuckle, as those of us who worked with Dave in banking know that your first paragraph is spot on," the reader posted. "If the NRL needs a lawnmower to hack through all the overgrowth and clean out the yard, then Dave's your man. Just watch out for the plants."

THE QUOTE

"I actually don't wear underwear on the court. I wear Nike Skins underneath my shorts." – Tennis star Nick Kyrgios during an interview on Sunrise, promoting Bonds undies, but sorta not.

THUMBS UP

Sonny Bill Williams, who reportedly spoke to almost every single soul in Samoa over two days, from the Prime Minister down, spreading the gospel of rugby league alongside NRL boss Dave Smith. Jarryd Hayne, alas, stayed at home.

THUMBS DOWN

Marcello Lippi, the Guangzhou Evergrande manager who stormed the field during his side's Asian Champions League loss to the Wanderers, grabbed a player, accosted the ref, had a blue with Tony Popovic, and then erupted in the press conference without a question being asked. A special night.

It's a big weekend for … ballboys. Are a Mars Bar and a can of Coke at the end of the game really worth the hassle of being blamed for the deficiencies in the 40-20 rule?

It's an even bigger weekend for … the All Blacks. They haven't lost at Eden Park since 1986. They haven't lost the Bledisloe Cup since 2002. The pressure is on the New Zealanders, obviously, heading into Saturday night's clash with the Wallabies.